Merriam Webster tells me synonyms for “adapting” include: accommodate, adjust, conform, and reconcile. I don’t know about you, but I don’t wake up every day hoping to conform or adjust myself. Adoption, on the other hand, is accepting or embracing something.

So, have we been lying to ourselves about the accelerated digital adoption forced by COVID-19? Headlines everywhere have boasted how digital adoption in seniors is “skyrocketing” but… are they adopting or adapting?

This brings me back to my time on the couch at my grandma’s a week ago… she is telling me about the cookies she baked and who is getting what. Her face twists, “I was making the cookies with the Hershey kisses, and can you believe- they took the recipe OFF THE BAG? It told me to go to their WEBSITE!” My husband affectionately points and me and says, “that’s because of you people.” He explains to her they want her to go to the website, they want her to see other recipes and things that will make her buy more. Gee, thanks.

It made me realize, they have changed their behavior because they have to, not because they want to. As marketers, do we realize we’re doing this? We spend a LOT of time talking about changing customer behavior- but normally we talk about motivators, barriers, preferences, not how we can force someone into change. So what about those who have a preference for the way things have been? Hershey is a big brand; they know who she is by now. So, why not send her the recipe in the mail with a unique code to use at checkout? Learn more about her, prove value, and keep her happy without breaking the experience… of baking holiday cookies.

We’ve ruined a pastime because we want website traffic, we want to prove our impact. We can do better.

Here are a few other experiences I know have been disrupted for my favorite lady:

• The library. She reads as much as I do (too much) and if you touch a book, you must place it in a special bin at the end of the aisle (COVID), she doesn’t understand how to do curbside service or self-checkout. The library is no longer a zen-den.

• Phones. She and my grandpa have iPhones, but have you ever seen an older person try to text? Do you know what happens to your skin as you age? (Google leathery fingers.) They love to talk on the phone, but people text, they don’t call.

• Pictures. I know, this might seem weird. After I got married, they asked questions like “so which ones are you buying?” and “when will you get them?” I explained my digital library, and the disappointment on their faces when they realized i didn’t have a stack of prints for them was visible.

• Menus. QR codes aren’t for everyone, enough said.

The positive side of change:

• My grandparents love the “Find My” app on their iPhones because they know where we are at all times. Sweet and creepy, all at once.

• Paps loves his iPad and the games he can play on it more than most people love their pets.

Forcing change isn’t just happening to seniors, all of us have been forced to adapt in the last 20 months. Also, preferences and willingness to change aren’t defined by age, I hate change almost as much as my 70-something-year-old grandparents.

If you’re a marketer who believes in consumer-centricity and omnichannel approaches, it’s time to rethink which changes to the experience are necessary vs. self-serving. How can we encourage adoption but provide alternatives, proving personalization is channel-agnostic?